Semantic Nonsense: Boot failure

We’ve reached the end of an unprecedented run of four consecutive Semantic Nonsenses. However, this is probably the end of them until next year.

Risky Boots on the same foot

Following up on a disappointing, yet complete run through Shantae: ½-Genie Hero is the Risky Boots DLC (free to Kickstarter backers).

It starts out with a cutscene from the regular game, with the dialogue slightly altered to reflect what Risky imagines the characters saying — namely things that inflate her ego slander themselves. From there, it launches into Risky’s quest to build the game’s final boss. At this point, I like where things are going.

That, sadly, soon changed. After all the endless backtracking of the first quest, how would I like to do all that same backtracking AGAIN, but as Risky? And then backtrack through all the stages AGAIN AGAIN after unlocking all of her movement abilities?

The levels aren’t perfect copies of the main game; some enemy placement has changed and the platforms have been altered to account for Risky’s much more limited moveset. But it’s 95% identical, and that’s not nearly enough to play the same stage for the 6th and 7th times.

Just like with Shantae’s quest, Risky’s is missing a lot of connective material. Her equipment upgrades (fittingly, the same ones Shatae used in Pirate’s Curse which were also featured in Shantae’s boss fight against Risky in the main quest), are just handed her by her crew completing a level for the “first” time.

…then you get yourself killed thinking the equipment will be anywhere near as potent as it was in the previous game.

While there is a long history of tossing in a new character in a no-frills way, like Richter and Maria’s afterthought inclusion as playable characters in Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, that was a effort level from 20 years ago, and also wasn’t paid DLC. Risky’s add-on needed to be more than this to justify itself.

I’m not even going to bother with the upcoming Sky, Rottytops and Bolo DLC, as they’re probably just going to follow the same pattern.

The Undiscovered

I was all geared up to watch Star Trek: Discovery’s premiere on network TV, really my only chance to, as CBS All-Access seems like such a bad deal in general, especially to just watch one 13-episode show.

My plan was thwarted due to my own inattention, though, when I noticed at the 11th-hour that CBS only planned to air the first half of the double-length episode. I decided not to tease myself with a cliffhanger that wouldn’t resolve for me until Discovery was allowed to leave the CBS All-Access plantation in the U.S. (which will be a long time, if ever).

This is why I’m not following my Orvillepremiere review with a Discovery premiere review. It’s not because I was one of those nerds who decided one was superior to the other before seeing whether (though I had my suspicions about the look and feel, at least).

Though three episodes into Orville, I’m doubling down on my concerns from the first episode. When I said it felt like half the crew was from the 21st century, I was referring to behaviors and attitudes. But with them making cracks about Dora the Explorer, it seems instead they were straight-up abducted from present day. If anything, the dissonance is even more awkwardly unpleasant now.

Seth McFarlane seemed genuine about wanting to do a hopeful sci-fi series, and I see how this could have worked as an angle. Instead of showing perfect Federation citizens, showing more relatable, flawed people who have to overcome those present day flaws in the backdrop of the far future. But we really are getting a PG-rated Family Guy… in SPACE, and that’s disappointing.

KitKat flavor of the week: Pistachio Raspberry

This is the first double-flavor covered here, and it won’t be the last.

It’s pale green exterior evokes the memory of the green tea variety, but that’s where the similarities end. The creamy shell of pistachio-flavored chocolate envelops a bright red interior where, naturally, the raspberry comes into play.

I never really thought of pistachio and raspberry complementing each other before… and I still don’t. It’s not a disgusting mix, but there’s not really a higher purpose to the contrasting flavors, here.

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